I was caught up with my self yesterday, that put me in a really bad mood, which I can say, lucky no one's there. But that's the problem at the beginning. No one's there! I was so fed up with my life and I needed someone to talk to, but no one's there.
Everybody was conveniently busy with their own stuff. And the only best friend who would listen to me if she wasn't asleep, lives so far far away that I wish I could go there every time, but apparently I can't.
So I made a short conclusion with unfortunately not much wisdom left, and I just shouted out loud: God, maybe you just don't love me anymore. How come you make me wait, for everything... Even for a friend? I was lucky that God Himself is love. He didn't send a large scary thunder to make His point to me. I think He just sat down at His throne and sighed.
Then like usually, whenever I am confused and not being myself, God put me to sleep, so deep.. I believe when He say something He mean it. I believed Him.When God shouted in my heart: "Now you tell Me I don't love you?!" That moment, like I said earlier, my heart broke into pieces and pulled together right away to be put back in the right place.
Everything that was wrong in my heart was fixed, and I got myself back, a one loved human being, God's own child, the apple of God's eye. And I realized, that I was not being myself these past few weeks , I was letting myself go with what satan said about me. It's all him who said that I wasn't loved. It's him who told me that God forgot about me. And I was being stupid when I believed all those lies. At the end of the sermon, the priest asked us to open Jeremiah chapter 1 verse 5 that said, "before I shaped you in the womb, I knew all about you. Before you saw the light of day, I had holy plans for you..." You see, that is how much God loves us. He knew all about us since there is none of us yet. He had plans for us, even before we're able to make our own plans.
So when He loves us that much, it is purely impossible to forget about us. Now I don't know where you are, and what happened with you. Maybe you're fed up with life just like I was yesterday, maybe your friends were busy and you feel very lonely, and maybe it's so hard for you to understand why this or that is happening to you, and maybe you begin to think that God doesn't love you anymore. If it did cross your mind today, let me suggest that you sit down and pray.
Imagine Him holding your hands, and imagine you look Him in the eye. And look again deeper in the realm of your spirit, take your time to calm down... And I bet, you will see, that He has nothing but love for you. Because that is Him. He can only love. And to Him, you are His everything. He had beautiful plans for you. For He loves you more than you love yourself. You have to remember that. So you wouldn't let satan's lies take away your joy and faith. Then go to sleep. I think it helps
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